oh hey.. being filled up.

my friend cait spent a few really good, much needed hours at my house tonight, during which we shared our hearts, prayed, and watched The Bachelor (judge us, i dare you haha). the thing that's striking me about tonight (as i sit here reflecting and listening to brooke fraser) is that i can't remember the last time i prayed with someone outside of church. which is crazy to me, because my roommate larissa and i used to pray daily in college. like all the time, even when we were borderline falling asleep because we were so worn out from the day. the term "pray without ceasing" became real to us.

wow. that has been sorely lacking in my life. i mean, 2010 was a really messed up, soul-distracting year for me from start to finish, and it's so easy to blame my lack of prayer on that. but seriously, isn't that when i should have prayed the most? don't get me wrong, i did pray. a lot. there's no other way i would have gotten through being jobless, heartbroken, losing my grandfather, living at home, etc. no other way. but there were times when it wasn't the kind of prayer it should have been. honestly, sometimes it was a struggle to pray. and that's sort of what i've been feeling lately.

2011 has been a very nice, refreshing start for my life. i feel happy again. i feel like i want to live my life fully. that concept, fully, is a funny one. as of right now, having a full life to me is scheduling every minute of every day and filling my planner up with lunch dates, gym time, and a million things on my to-do list. but just because i'm busy doesn't mean i'm filled.

john 6:63 - "the Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing."

wise words. and how often i forget them. well, now i'm determined not to.