i went for another three mile run this morning under cloudy skies and drizzling rain (which was surprisingly refreshing). i was praying and thinking and really, all i can ask of God is to decrease my selfishness and jealousy and all those things that hold me back from living a full life (see John 10:10). i'm looking back on one of my journal entries from a few days ago and this is what i wrote:
"tonight i'm realizing that i've never been so grateful for faith as i am now. the Lord has healed me and is making me stronger-- my flesh will fail but God is the strength of my heart. He deals out my portion, knowing full well that He puts me in sometimes difficult positions for a reason. He brings me to places of abundance after hardship. And praise God, His mercies are new every single morning. He takes on our daily burdens and cleanses my hands. He is the Lord, apart from Him i have no good."
this is so much of what i've been feeling. i don't think my faith has ever been this strong. and it took a lot of hard situations over the past few months to get here; honestly, my mind tells me that i wish it hadn't happened, but my heart says, "this is what you needed." isn't that unbelievable? through losing my job, my grandfather dying, losing some best friends, and family issues, the Lord has brought me closer to where He wants me to be. like it says in Joshua, "He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful, and so that you might always fear the Lord your God." (v. 4:24) all i want my struggles to become are something to proclaim the Lord's glory, and that's been happening. and verse 3:5 is truth: "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you." just a reminder to commit every day to the Lord and pray over the days to come.
make sure to check out the "new music" box on the left, i hand-pick artists and songs that i love for you guys to listen to!