there's no other way for me to put it. life is certainly bearing down on me right now, in a not so good way. but far be it from me to complain (philippians 2:14 is pretty clear on that subject). as usual, the Lord is teaching me to rely on Him, through certain verses and songs. one of them is called "You Are Faithful" by jesus culture. everything about this songs speaks to remind me that God's love is completely unfailing, even when it feels like life is failing me completely. psalm 68:19 has been a recent favorite that i feel like i've never read before, even though i'm sure i must have: "Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens." He knows i'm not strong enough to bear them on my own.
in other news.. two of my best friends moved to England for six months, so it sucks that i can't talk to them. i mean really sucks.. because i still don't have the internet. talk about torture. i've gotten somewhat used to it but when the internet becomes the only means of communication between you and your best friends halfway across the world.. things aren't so good. and the job hunt is still everlasting. i'm holding out for whatever God has for me, but it's a constant struggle. i've been examining my friend's lives and while i know nobody's life is perfect, a lot of them have great jobs and are enjoying life. meanwhile, i feel like my life is passing me by and i can't do anything to stop it. and that means i have to pray long and hard over my jealousy, which likes to pop up more than i'd like to admit. but the Bible clearly states that jealousy is a sin and God is going to overcome that in me as long as i let Him.
basically, all my life is about now is trying to rely on the Lord, trust in Him, and believe with all my heart that He is faithful and will deliver me.
until next time..