hello.

Hey blog world. It's been a while. And it's going to be a while.. since I have yet to gain access to the internet world again. No progress has been made on that front.

In other news.. February has been the worst month ever. I don't say that to be a downer, I just say that because it's truth. I was never one to deny my emotions, and I'm not about to start. I can't give you all the details, but I will say this: there is nothing left to rely on but God Himself. I can't fix my life on my own, you know? Some people think they can, but I think they're searching for a solution that can't be created from human hands. I've tried that before, and it's no secret that I've failed.

One of my good friends gave me my belated Christmas present.. she does these really beautiful paintings with Bible verses on them. The verse she chose for me is Psalm 73:26-

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

It's not a coincidence that she gave me this gift a couple months late. I need the truth of that verse right now. Both my flesh and my heart have been failing, and the only way they'll stop is from the Lord turning my weakness into strength (also see my life verse, 2 Corinthians 12:10). The suckiness of life is just a part of our human heritage on this earth. In my experience, it usually comes together all at once, hence the hardship. But I don't serve a God just so He can make my life all sunshine and rainbows. After all, His son paid the ultimate price, and my suffering is nowhere near that extreme.

I guess I wanted to write this post for two reasons: 1) because I miss blogging like I used to, and 2) because I'm realizing something very valuable: healing, strength and change takes time and can only be done by trusting in the Lord. That's where my heart's at right now.

<3.