After spending a great weekend with my close friends I realized something important: satisfaction in things and people other than the Lord has been increasingly evident in my life. There's a call in this world, Christian or otherwise, to be satisfied. And lately I see that my problem is that I live a life of wanting far too often to seek attention, be emotional, get noticed, and feel satisfied in things that ultimately cannot satisfy me. Of course I won't go into the personal specifics but I feel like for months now I have put my energy into my weaknesses rather than my strengths. Time for a change? I think yes. I want to be satisfied in what I have rather than what I don't.
"Why spend your money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?"
-Isaiah 55:2.
Good question.
A recent conversation with a friend got me thinking about commitment to the Lord as well. I haven't put everything I am into serving a God that demands that of me, and that's an easy thing to be guilty of; after all, I'm human. But this conversation I had left me with one lasting thought that I'm still carrying around: I want to be 100%.
I also wanted to thank Stargirl for commenting on my last post. She said, "Your life sounds beautiful." I never thought of how beautiful my life truly is until now. But I have the grace of my God, my friends & family that support me, and I am blessed to be able to go to college and experience things that have changed my life. I get caught up in what's not working with my life rather than what is consistently good. Thanks again for the comment, it made me think.
2 comments:
I love that you wrote this. Honestly, It reminds me of the way I've been feeling lately...
I've always been the good Christian girl who's got it all together. After I started going to college, I learned so much about the world...Idk. I'm supposed to be in the world and not of it, but instead I feel like I'm in the world, getting numb. My parents call it frog in the pot syndrome...sitting in lukewarm water, unaware of an impending death.
Right now I'm trying to come out of it. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a good Christian girl. I've still got my standards, my morals, and my beliefs. But there are little things...things that I didn't used to do. Sometimes I lie in my bed and I feel tired, and wasted, and used, and betrayed, and sad, and just wow, you know seriously it's depressing, and I'm pretty sure it's how everybody who has not experienced the love of Christ feels. The fact that those feelings were overwhelming me made me realize that I havent been embracing the benifits of my faith as much as i could have been. I've been promised peace that surpasses all understanding, hope, and a future. I'm not caught up in the same trap as everybody else.
I'm free.
And that was a really longish random comment, but it was inspired by you :)
it may sound strange, so please forgive me. i was on steven christians blog, and clicked on you.
then your faith kinda jumped off the page and i wondered if i knew you.
read the blog...and was like wow.
kindrid spirit much??
my name is Sarah.
which is a strange coincidence i'm thinking.
lol.
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