hey friends. i've realized as of late that the time in my life has come where i can admit i'm straight broke. i added up my necessary spending (meaning bills alone.. not counting food or gas) and as it turns out, i definitely don't get paid enough. tell me something i didn't already know. nor do i have enough room to spend on things like three birthdays and a wedding all at one time. it's scary. for a year and a half i've been living paycheck to paycheck, worrying every single day if my money is going to run out. and what will happen if unexpected spending is necessary ($545 to fix my car, anyone? just barely made it through.) i'm proud to say that i've been making it on my own for more than a year without help from anyone. but today i got so nervous that i broke down and called my dad. my parents are the best, and they help when i ask for it (which i hate doing). and i have no problem paying them back. but can i just say.. i'm tired of this life. like super tired. i love my job (except how much it pays) but it's difficult to barely be able to support myself. i even try to cut corners and i can't because 90% of everything is going to my "real world" expenses. and then of course, i go shopping every so often and end up channeling my inner julia roberts, thinking, "big mistake. BIG. HUGE."
ANYWAY. this is a venting post, i know. i'm sorry, i hate those. but here's something i wanted to share because i think it will actually work. i've come up with a three-step solution to get off the "worrying about money" track and feel better about my budget:
1. put my financial worries in the Lord's hands and ask him to guide my budgeting.
2. no spending money on clothes & unnecessary items for myself until at least new year's because i have enough of them.
3. recognize daily that i'm blessed to have a job in the first place, and i can afford all my bills without worry if i'm more careful about it.
i'm hoping it works.