one of those weeks.

This has been a week of keeping myself in check, failing at it, and trying again. I don't really know what's going on except I've been impatient, easily angry & emotional (yes, more than usual). I have denied things in my life that need prayer more than anything. Today I was just desperate for some time with Jesus since I've been lacking it and I really got to pray and think about what's been going on with me. Reading through 1 Corinthians has been nice because a lot of what Paul talks about matches up with where I am (that has been a perk of reading the Bible beginning to end-- I highly recommend it).

"You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons too; you cannot have a part in both the Lord's table and the table of demons." - 10:21

^ Wow. Talk about God showing me what's up. My "cup of demons" is everything that I've been feeling and outwardly expressing negatively. When I'm doing those things, I am not part of the Lord's table. I don't think I realized that until this verse.

"So whether you eat or drink of whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." - 10:31

^ This is one of those verses that if you're a living Christian you've read and heard quoted a thousand times. I'm less inclined to read those verses because the meaning wears off after the tenth time you've heard it. But this one speaks a lot of truth into my life. Being a Christian means being a "little Christ" (funny, I just read about C.S. Lewis' take on this in Mere Christianity-- side note: read that book). Perfection as a human on this earth is impossible but when we are truly focused on the Lord in everything that we do, we will be doing it all for His glory. I want to be able to act that way without having to check myself-- to be so close to God that I don't have to stop every second and make sure I'm following Him.

Apart from how I've been feeling, I read some verses today that spoke to me on different subjects. Something I'm fairly passionate about within Christianity is denominations and how I don't think they should really exist-- obviously they do and that's not going to change. I just wish Christians lived under that title alone, without Catholic or Baptist or Lutheran or Methodist or Presbyterian to confuse everyone. Each one has their own beliefs and system and more often than not those stray from what the Bible teaches (that is how I grew up for 19 years and didn't realize it until I came to college). I think there is a point to denominations but most of the time I feel like Christians would be closer to each other and to God if we were simply united under the teachings of the Bible + belief in Jesus Christ & God and nothing else. Anyway:

"For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body-- whether Jew or Greek, slave or free-- and we were all given the one Spirit to drink." - 12 :13

Lastly: loving people has not been a priority this week and I'm ashamed of that fact. Ask any one of my friends: I love people a lot and I show them that often (sometimes too much). But this week has not been a strong point for love because frustration with situations and people have gotten in my way. I'll be honest, I haven't done much to watch myself on this one. But the inevitable 1 Corinthians 13 was the next part of the Bible in my reading, so guess what God pointed out:

1. I'm nothing without loving people, even if I think I have everything else. - 1-3
2. PATIENCE & KINDNESS. - 4
3. Not rude or EASILY ANGERED. - 5

This post has been really long, but I just wanted to share overall that God shows up and we as individuals are the ones that hinder ourselves by failing to acknowledge that we need Him and need to look to Him when things get rough. It's really hard sometimes because that's just what life is. If you're in a position close to what I've been in this week, do yourself a favor: get over those feelings and whatever you're hanging on to and give it to God. Get in the Word and PRAY, because it'll make a world of difference, I promise.