Here's what I'm thinking.
That this is a really good life even though it has its ups & downs. Like there are times when I go to work and I just don't want to be there and I have to deal with people who go crazy over their coffee and my boss is lecturing me when I know I didn't do anything wrong. But I love my job because I love the people I work with and there are people that come in and I know that if I'm being the nicest I can be I can change their day. Loving people. Loving strangers. That is such a cool concept to me-- being able to love someone you don't know. But by treating them with respect and doing everything you can to help them, you are loving them. I get excited when I think about being able to love like Jesus to the best of my ability. It can definitely be a struggle sometimes at b&n, but overall I finish a night feeling like it was worth my while.
Something else I've been thinking about is prayer. I've always believed it is one of the most impactful things you can do as a Christian. Think about it: when you want to see change but it seems impossible and it's something you may not be able to physically attain or make happen with your own two hands, God can take that. But He needs to hear from you. I think prayer plays a big part in keeping me from doubt. Because every time I think that something is unreachable, all He has to do is remind me of the things I've witnessed in my own life that have straight up come from my prayers in the past.
I'm also learning to be satisfied-- mostly with my job (I get tired of things easily and always want to switch it up, but I know I have to be committed). But it goes beyond work to a point where I need to be satisfied in the friends I have, in the family I have, in the life I've been given. There have been a lot of times when I've desperately wished for change, to have been born into a different setting, to have a better family and a better set of circumstances. But the truth is, I've been unbelievably blessed. I really have. And I've spent too many years being selfish and having selfish desires-- even though life isn't always what I want it to be, should that fact alone change my faith or the way I place God in my life? I don't think so. So I'm learning to find satisfaction as long as I know that I am following Him wholeheartedly and letting Him clean up the many mistakes I tend to make. I'm letting Him be my satisfaction in a world that can never seem to be satisfied.
That was a lot for 8:30 a.m. :) Have a great day.