Thursday, August 7, 2008

fighting hard.

For a week I have felt lost and distant from God. My faith has been slipping away this whole week. I have been burdened by a lot of issues and problems currently happening in my life and it's hard to get past them. But tonight I stood in front of the wall next to my bed, which is covered in Post-It Notes with bible verses on them. I stared at that wall for a long time, reading over my Post-Its and thinking and wanting my life to change and get better. Obviously, that doesn't happen in an instant. But God brought my faith back to me when I was so far away from it in these two passages:

"If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all." - Isaiah 7:9

"'How can I, your servant, talk to you, my Lord? My strength is gone and I can hardly breathe.' Again the one who looked like a man touched me and gave me strength. 'Do not be afraid...' he said. 'Peace! Be strong now; be strong.'" - Daniel 10:17-19

The first one I've experienced to be so very true this week. I was falling hard and couldn't imagine getting back up again. I was losing the reason to have faith in the first place. The second set of verses is when Daniel has a vision and he couldn't make sense of it, so he lost his strength. God came to him and restored him. I feel like I've been restored also, even in the midst of coming really close to giving up. It's going to be hard for a while-- but living in faith isn't going to make it harder. It'll make it better and hopefully I can be strong instead of weak.

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