I'm finding that I am so capable of being faithless, and that's awful. And it's unexpectedly hard to get your faith back when it's been MIA. However, I found this quote tonight and it made me feel better:
"As we feel our emotions shift we must connect our spirits with the Spirit of God and remind ourselves that what we feel is not who we are. We are and remain, whatever our moods, God's beloved children."
I still belong to God even if I feel like I don't. Even if I were to disown God completely, in His eyes I'd still be His. So weird. I replace God a lot, too. This verse in Jonah says: "Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs." Idols are EVERYTHING. I'm clinging to crazy emotions right now; those are idols. Anything I put above God, even for a second, is an idol. This happens often. It's taken me a while to see that idols aren't just those blocks of wood we read about in the Old Testament. Take a look around, define the idols in your life, and try to block them out.
Anyway... work at B&N has been good-- pressure filled sometimes, but good. This week a lot of customers have been asking me about my tattoo. It's really cool to talk to them about it, but I never have enough time. I HATE that. I'm so busy working that I can only manage a quick explanation. But there have been some really cool people that tell me they're Christians too, and that is really awesome. I'd love to sit down with them and chat but the insane corporate world claims me. Add that to the list of reasons why I'd rather not be employed with this type of job.